Estoy Aqui (I Am Here)

Disclaimer: You know I would never have even consider anything like Gundam Wing in my little mind...so that right there should tell you I don't own them. But who ever said I couldn't wish! I also don't own the lyrics or the translations.

Title: Estoy Aqui (I Am Here)
Lyrics: Shakira
Pairings: 3x4
Warnings: Sap, Fluff, and mild Angst
Author: Sarah Ü

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*Note: This fic takes place many years after Ojos Asi.
English translation and dream sequence are in italic

Trowa ran as fast as he could through the hallways of the L4 hospital trying desperately to find the intensive care unit hidden somewhere within the building. After a few wrong turns and several wrong floors, Trowa finally reached his desired destination, the main front desk of the intensive care unit. Huffing and puffing from the sudden mad dash to the hospital, something he hadn't done since his youth, he tried to blurt out his words to the on looking nurse behind the counter.

"I'm…here for…Quatre…Winner." Trowa finally managed to spill out of his mouth despite his shortness in breath.

"Are you family?" The nurse asked him as she shifted through the mounds of papers on the desk, looking for the one on Quatre Winner.

"Yes."

"Brother?"

"No. Husband." Trowa replied.

The nurse looked up at Trowa with an eyebrow raised. Did she just hear him right? Trowa saw her confused look and then answered…

"Yes, I am Quatre Winner's husband. My name is Trowa Barton-Winner. Now please, can you tell me what has happened to him?"

Trowa's eyes started to glaze over. He didn't have time to stand there and argue to a nurse about his marital status when his Quatre could be dying on him. The nurse found the correct paperwork on Quatre and looked back up at Trowa.

"Yes, it's right here. Sorry about that Mr. Barton-Winner. I had to make sure you were family. Well, it looks like Mr. Winner suffered from a heart attack and is in critical condition."

"Is he going to be alright?" Trowa asked in a quite worried tone.

"This is all the information we have here. The doctor might be able to tell you more." She said as she smiled at him, trying to reassure his worried gaze.

"May I see him?" He asked, almost in a near whisper.

"Yes. The doctor will be here shortly to take you to him. Please have a seat Mr. Barton-Winner."

"Thank you." Trowa replied as he collapsed in the nearest waiting room chair.

* * *

Trowa sat and watched as the minutes hand on the clock in front of him was trying desperately to catch up to the fast pace seconds hand. It was having no such luck. Twenty minutes had pasted since the time Trowa had come barreling down the hallway. But those Twenty minutes seemed like Twenty years to him. What could possibly be taking the doctor? He was growing impatient. The longer Trowa sat in the waiting room, the weaker Quatre could be getting. He had to see his beloved now. Trowa was about to leap up and scream at the nurses behind the desk, when suddenly…

"Mr. Barton-Winner?"

Trowa gazed up at the man who had presented himself before him. He was a younger man, in his mid thirty's. The man tired to crack a smile at Trowa.

"Mr. Barton-Winner, I am Dr. Carter. I am the one who is assigned to Mr. Winner. Could you please follow me?"

Trowa got up and followed the doctor down the hallway to the intensive care area. "Please, tell me how Quatre is?" Trowa asked breaking the silence between him and the doctor.

"Well, I'm afraid it's not good." Dr. Carter told Trowa has they continued on walking. "Mr. Winner suffered a life threatening heart attack. I'm afraid that with all the stress that Mr. Winner had endured in his lifetime has caused his heart to become very weak and it shut down. When he was brought in to us, he had arrested. We revived him after shocking his heart three times. He's in critical condition as of this moment. But I'm afraid that the next time he goes into arrest we cannot revive him. He is currently in a coma and we don't expect him to come out. He is expected to live for about another hour or two." They stopped before Quatre's room and Trowa looked at the doctor with an emotionless expression as everything started to sink in. Dr. Carter put a hand on Trowa's shoulder.

"I am truly very sorry, Mr. Barton-Winner. I wish this could get better." He opened the door to the room and gestured for Trowa to go in. "Even though Mr. Winner will not recover, we thought it best that you saw him for the last time. It might also sooth him to here your voice before he goes."

Trowa shut his eyes, then replied in an angrily tone. "Quatre is stronger then that. He WILL make it through this."

"I wish you were right. Please, go to him."

Pushing open the door and stepping in, Trowa nearly gasped at the sight he saw before him. Quatre's motionless body lied in the hospital bed with tubes and wires coming out of every inch of him. His once fair skin now took on an almost transparent color. He looked so help less. Trowa felt a slight wetness under his left eye as a single tear rolled down his face. His Quatre, his beautiful Quatre, was now clinging to his life by a thread. Trowa couldn't help but feel helpless. He wanted to run to Quatre and carry him out of this nightmare. To see his bright smiling face once more fully awake and alive. But the doctor's words kept playing over and over in his head. His Quatre was never coming back.

Trowa pulled up the chair next to Quatre's bed and sat down. He brushed his hand down Quatre's cheek. He felt cold to the touch.

"Oh Quatre…" Trowa began. "…how could this have happened? Why has your heart decided now to go out on us? We still have half a lifetime left to be with each other. Let's not throw all of what we have away yet. All that we have been through together. Come back to me my love." He grabbed Quatre's lifeless head and squeezed it tight. "You can fight this. You are much stronger then this. We have suffered through two wars and have survived. You can survive through this. Don't leave me now. Our forever isn't up yet." His eyes began to water more as more tears streaked his grieving face. "I don't think I can live without you. Without your warm touch and bright smile. QUATRE!!" Trowa cried. "PLEASE COME BACK!"

Dr. Carter closed his eyes and walked away from the door. He hated seeing this part. He hated telling someone that their loved one was not coming back to them. He almost wished he were God, so he could cure all and save all from death. He often wondered how he could go through with this day in and day out.

* * *

An old woman is kneeling next to the body of a fallen soldier. Some distance away, two young women are also kneeling next to the body of another fallen soldier. Explosions can be heard in the background. Both of the young women are singing a song. The old woman had just finished her song and notices a small child in the shadows, watching her. She smiles dearly at the child and motions for the boy to come over to her.

"Nanashi. Come here boy."

The child runs from his hiding place in the shadows and kneels down next to the old woman. He stares up at her with curious eyes. She smiles down at him again and puts her arm around him, then gestures towards the young women still in the midst of their song.

"Nanashi, do you know what those women over there are doing?" She asks him.

"They're singing." He replies.

"That's right. And do you know what they are singing?"

The boy tires to listen to the young women's song, but finds that he cannot understand it.

"It's beautiful, but no I don't know." He says shaking his head.

The old woman smiles once again at the child and says, "It is a song to send the dying or the dead safely into heaven. So that they know that we were hear for them before and after their death. That we grieve for them. So that their death had some meaning to us. Our people have been using that very song since time began. We, the victims and survivors of this war are using that song to send our loved one who have died in battle to a safer place."

The boy has his gaze fixed upon the old woman as her words reach to him. A song that has the power to put the dead or the dying at ease? He liked the idea of that.

"Nanashi, boy. Would you like to learn our song?"

His eyes grew wide with delight. "Yes." He squeals.

The old woman giggles at his expression. "Alright. First you have to put your hands on the body's chest." The child does. "Now then, repeat after me…"

Almost by instinct, Trowa put his hands on Quatre's chest and began to sign.

ya sé que no vendrás
todo lo que fué
el tiempo lo dejó atras
sé que no regresaras
lo que nos paso
no repetriá jamás
mil años no me alcanzaran
para borrararte y olvidar
y ahora estoy aqui
quierendo convertir
los campos in ciudad
mezclando cielo con el mar
sé que te dejé escapar
sé que te perdí
nada podrá ser igual
mil años pueden alcanzar
para que pueda perdonar

I know you won't come back,
everything that was;
Time has left it behind.
I know that you won't return.
What happened between us
will never be repeated.
A thousand years will never reach me
to fade you away and forget.
And now I'm here,
Trying to turn valleys into cities
Mixing the Sky and the Sea.
I know I let you escape,
I know I lost you.
Nothing can be the same;
A millennium can reach
so you can fade away.

estoy aqui quierendote,
ahogandome
entre fotos y cuandernos
entre cosas y recuerdos
eue no puedo comprender
estoy enloqueciendome
cambiandome un pie por la
cara mía
esta noche por el día
y nada le puedo yo hacer

I'm here, loving you,
suffocating,
in photographs and scrapbooks,
in objects and momentos.
I can't comprehend,
I'm driving myself mad.
Changing a foot for
my own face;
This night for a day.
And there's nothing I can do about it.

las cartas que escribí
nunca las envié
no querrás saber de mi
no puedo entender
lo tonta que fuí
es cuestión de tiempo y fe
mil años con otros mil más
son suficiendes para amar

The letters I wrote,
I never sent.
You didn't want to know of me.
I can't understand
how foolish I was;
It's all the matter of time and faith.
A millennium with another thousand years…
are enough to love

si aún piensas aigo en mí
sabes que sigo esperandote

If you still think something of me…
You know I'm still waiting for you…

* * *

Trowa finished his song collapsed his head on Quatre's chest and started to cry. After a while, Trowa noticed that Quatre felt warmer to the touch. Not as cold as he once was when he first arrived. Trowa turned his head towards the monitor and noticed that Quatre's heart rate had also improved. In fact, it had a regular rhythm. He lifted his head off of Quatre and brushed his hand on Quatre's cheek again.

"Quatre, love? Did you hear my song? Are you going to wake up for me? Please Quatre, wake up."

Again, has if by instinct, Quatre opened his eyes. He smiled weakly at Trowa.

"T..r…o..wa."

"Oh god Quatre. I thought I was going to lose you." Trowa through his arms around Quatre, trying to avoid as many tubes and wires as he hugged him. Quatre lifted his weak arms to hug Trowa back.

"I couldn't leave you, my love. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"That doesn't matter now. What matters is that you are here now. Did you hear the song I was singing?" Trowa asked him.

"I heard something that drew me to it. Something was calling to me. Saying that it was here. It was loving me. I was given the choice of going into the warm light or going into the cold void. I was about to go into the warm light, but the cold void kept calling to me. Like it was beckoning me to it. Telling me it was suffering without me. I heard it grieve and say that it loved me and was waiting for me. Of course I then chose the void and it turned out to be you. You were here. Waiting for me to wake up. I am so glad I chose the void. For if I followed my sight and not my heart, I would have ended up in the light and left you behind. My heart chose the void and I followed my heart. Back to you. Oh god Trowa, I love you." Quatre was in a near whisper as his emotions came flooding out.

"I love you too, little one. Thank you for coming back to me." Trowa whispered back letting his tears flow. They embraced once more and kissed deep and passionately. When they finally broke apart, Quatre looked up at Trowa and smiled.

"You are my husband, Trowa. The love of my life. The center of my world. You promised me forever back then, and forever I will give you. I will never leave you. Remember that."

*CRASH*

The sudden noise had startled both Trowa and Quatre and they looked up towards it. It had come from the entrance of the room. A nurse stared back at them in complete and otter shock. She had dropped the tray of supplies she was carrying in. Trowa and Quatre looked at her in confusion. The doctors had told the nurse that Mr. Winner was pretty much dead and excepted him to be dead when the nurse arrived to straighten up the room. She never expected to see him fully awake and alive when she got there. She darted from the room in a full call.

"DR. CARTER!!!"

Quatre turned to Trowa. "What was that all about." He asked.

"I assume she thought you were suppose to be dead. The doctor on the way in told me that you were not going to recover. That you were going to be dead in a few hours. I think you caught her off guard."

Quatre giggled weakly, "Now I feel bad." Trowa smiled. His Quatre was definitely back.

Dr. Carter ran into the room, followed by the shocked nurse. He could believe the sight he was seeing. The man that himself and the senior resident on duty had pretty much declared dead, was now sitting up and looking at him with a confused look. He walked over to the base of the bed and picked up Quatre's charts and began writing down what the monitor was telling him.

"Mr. Winner." Dr. Carter started. "This is a shock to me. No one has ever recovered from the heart attack you had earlier. Infact, when I showed Mr. Barton-Winner in here, your readings were very low. But now, they are normal. You will make a full recovery. I don't know how, but you had some kind of miracle."

Quatre smile warmly at the still surprised doctor. "Thank you."

Dr. Carter look towards Trowa. He also had a warm smile on his face. "Didn't I tell you that he would make it through this?"

"Yes, yes you did." Dr. Carter giggled. "I will leave you two alone to catch up. I will be back in later to check on you."

"Thank you again, doctor."

"No, thank you, Mr. Winner." He nodded towards Quatre. "Mr. Barton-Winner." Dr. Carter nodded again as he excused himself from the room to leave the couple to themselves. The nurse also left after Dr. Carter.

Quatre once more looked towards his love. He felt really bad for scaring Trowa like that. He knew his heart was weak, but he never thought that it would fail on him. All Quatre could do now was to pray to Allah for his strength and guidance in keeping him safe. He had dodged a bullet this time, but he might not be as lucky next time. Quatre had faith that it was the power of Trowa's song that pulled him back to life. Just like the time he had brought Trowa back to him, so many years ago, with the power of a similar song. A warm smile grazed his face. "Allah," Quatre whispered to himself. "I thank you once again."

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