Disclaimer:  *points at little Japanese guys* Theirs.

Title: Ask And Ye Shall Recieve
Pairings: N/A (there's a reason...you'll soon find out)
Warnings: See below
Author: Whimsy

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Warnings: Silliness, language. Citrus-y. Probably doesn't rank a lime...maybe an orange?

Duo: *waves hand* Ooh! Ooh! I know!

*sigh* Yes, Duo?

Duo: It's an Ugli fruit!

*blink* Huh?

Duo: An Ugli fruit! I saw 'em in the produce department today! They're these lumpy, weird green citrus things!

*confused* Oh. Okay. Ugli fruit it is, then.

Duo: *kawaii grin*

Um...anyway...where was I? *taps head, Pooh-style* Oh, yeah! Warnings! Slight OOC. I think that's it.

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Lieutenant Colonel Zechs Merquise made his way down the darkened hallways of the house. He drifted silently, like a pale ghost, avoiding guards and servants effortlessly. At last, he found himself at the door he sought. Not bothering to knock, for he knew the occupant was busy elsewhere, he slipped inside. Without turning on the light, Zechs went to the large, ornate desk and ensconced himself in the comfortable leather chair, awaiting the return of the desk's owner. At last, he thought, I shall have my revenge.

************

Chang Wufei leapt the fence with ease and landed lightly on the other side. He cast a furtive glance around, noting the positions of the guards, then ran swiftly and soundlessly toward the big house. This is too easy, he thought, with a mental snort of derision. Weaklings.

He reached the house and rounded a corner slowly, searching for a specific set of French doors. Once found, the doors' latch was easily slid out of place with a thin piece of metal, and the Chinese boy stepped into the room. He took up a position near the fireplace, there to await his opponent. This time, he thought. This time I will have him. He will not defeat me again.

************

Lady Une walked through the dank corridor, holding her light aloft. I shall have to put this out soon, she thought, lest I draw attention to myself. She continued on, ducking the occasional cobweb and allowing herself a delicate shudder at the rats. As she approached her destination she extinguished the light and traveled the last few meters of well-known corridor by memory alone. She pushed gently at an indentation in the wall, and a bookcase swung on well-oiled hinges a few inches into the room on the other side. Une ghosted into the room, swinging the bookcase shut behind her, and then floated over to the bed, where she awaited the return of its master.

************

Treize Kushrenada made his way back to his room, weary after a long day of dealing with Romefeller officials. He nodded absently to the guards he passed, his mind already on a hot bath and a soft, but regretfully empty, bed. He hesitated at his own door. It was slightly ajar. He knew he hadn't left it like that. With only a small amount of trepidation (for he was certain he could handle whatever was on the other side), he pushed the door open and flipped on the lights.

The scene that greeted him gave him pause.

Zechs Merquise was sitting at his desk, the chair angled to face the door, and wearing nothing but a bunch of roses in his lap and a rather fetching, if somewhat predatory, smile.

Chang Wufei, the Gundam pilot, stood near the fireplace a few feet away, armed only with his own impressively erect 'sword'.

And behind them, his own dear Lady Une was posed seductively on his bed, wearing a nearly transparent negligee.

This frankly arousing tableau lasted only a moment before the three noticed one another. Zechs leapt out of the chair, allowing the roses to fall, forgotten, to his feet. Wufei pivoted and dropped into a defensive crouch. Une fairly flew off the bed, nearly losing her negligee on the way. The three attractive and naked (or nearly so) people glared at one another for a split second and then all hell broke loose.

"You?! What are you doing here?!"

"I? I've earned the right to stand at Mister Treize's side--"

"Injustice! Injustice!"

The three voices rose in an unintelligible tangle before the air was split by a piercing whistle. All three soldiers spun to face the disturbance.

Treize, momentarily forgotten in all the excitement, had shut and locked the door and stripped. He was now standing naked in the middle of the room, his erection throbbing proudly. In an almost plaintive voice the handsome ginger-haired man asked, "Could somebody please just fuck me?"

The three would-be seducers looked at one another briefly, then smiled identical wicked smiles and advanced on the OZ general slowly.

And Treize got his wish, three times over.

owari

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I know, I know--I don't do any of these characters justice--

Wufei: *glowers* I'll say. My only line is "Injustice! Injustice!". I have a more extensive vocabulary than that, you know.

*glares* Shut up Justice Boy, or I'll write you into a lemon with Dekim Barton.

Wufei: *opens his mouth to speak*

_And_ Duke Dermail.

Wufei: *closes his mouth*

*smirk* It's good to have power.

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